Valentines, as far as I'm concerned, is a strictly commercial holiday. We get inundated with commercials saying, "If you really love her, get her this!" Usually some tacky piece of jewelry, or overpriced flowers, or whatever. There's no commercials for power tools, books or really anything else. Valentines has a tendency to make a lot of people feel less than as well; like if you're not in a relationship with someone you're a failure, or if you're not happy in your relationship, you just need to spend money you may not have to fix it. It ends up making more people feel grumpy than happy. So why not make Valentines day more meaningful to you, personally?
Valentines is supposedly about love (ignore the commercials). I read a quote somewhere that said, "The longest relationship you'll ever be in is with yourself. Make sure it's a good one." That really struck home to me. If you're a giver, a carer, a nurturer, you tend to give your love and attention to everyone else, and you might get a few crumbs at the end of the day of that love, if you have the energy for it. A lot of us (me included) feel we have to earn self care and self love by getting a bunch of stuff done first. The problem with that is: that there will always be stuff to do, so you'll never get everything done; that you'll be so tired at the end of it that you won't have the energy for anything or anyone else; and that it reinforces the idea that you are not a priority. I keep telling my clients and others that you need to make yourself a priority, that you are just as important as everything and everyone else, and that you sometimes need to take care of yourself first. It's time I start following my own advice! So, how can we practice more self love and care?
Self care and self love doesn't have to cost you anything but a little time and investment in yourself. Sometimes all you need is to carve out a little bit of time for yourself in your busy day to only do what gives you pleasure. Really think about it: what gives you joy? What makes you happy? What makes you feel content? Here is a list of things that may or may not appeal to you if you have no idea where to start; so do what makes you feel loved, cared for and happy. Some ideas:
Go for a walk in nature (weather permitting).
Sleep in or take a nap.
Have a hot bath with epsom salts or bubbles.
Read a book.
Watch a show that makes you laugh (or cry happy tears).
Listen to music and sing along.
Dance to your favourite songs.
Get a massage.
Do yoga or stretching.
Do crafts.
Drink some herbal tea or more water.
Eat something good.
Meditate or practice mindfulness.
Journal.
Connect with friends.
Play or cuddle with a pet.
Spend time in nature.
Learn something new.
Try something new you've always wanted to do.
Give yourself a facial, pedicure, or manicure.
Organize a cupboard or drawer.
Write a letter to someone you care about.
Get yourself some flowers.
Do something you loved as a child.
Set boundaries or say no to something that doesn't serve you.
Plant a garden or some plants.
Look at the stars.
Practice acceptance of yourself and others.
Read and say positive affirmations to yourself.
Diffuse some essential oils, burn some incense or light a beeswax candle.
There are lots of things you can do to show yourself self love and self care, these are just a few ideas. Make Valentines something meaningful to you, about you, and really take care of the relationship with yourself that you'll have for the rest of your life. You are worth all the love that you give!
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